Fear and Arbonne

I have a terrible inner conflict... I am both a huge socialite and people pleaser. These may seem like compatible character traits, but, for me, they tend to cause me anxiety. Here's what I mean...

The socialite side of me wants to be involved in EVERYTHING...or at least invited to be a part of everything. I am serious. I would pack out my calendar with people anytime. I love being around people. I love hosting. I love going to others homes. I love going out with friends. I love being around (most of) my family.  I seriously just love socialization. Although this has taken on different outlets over the years, especially with life transitions such as marriage and having children, I have always love just being present and involved. 


The people pleaser side of me wants everyone to like me and invite the socialite side of me to every get together. The conundrum comes when I don't get invited to things...


When this happens, the socialite side of me is saddened and the people pleaser side of me goes into panic mode. I automatically and simultaneously get nervous, hurt, a little mad, and a whole lot anxious. I get nervous that someone is mad at me and that's why I didn't get invited and I get anxious in terms of trying to justify the situation and compensate for the void I automatically feel. 

And the biggest culprit for bringing these emotions up...Facebook.


This sounds crazy, but bare with me...I promise I'm getting to a point. 


Just recently have I realized all of this about myself. I, like you, thought I was nuts and needed immediate counseling. And then a total God thing happened. I was in the car with my sister, someone whom I have been eagerly trying to have a deeper relationship with, and we randomly got on the subject of unjustified feelings of "being left out". We both admitted that we have the feelings, as described above, of jealousy and tension anytime we're not included, for whatever reason. After discussing this briefly, we both conceded that, most of the time, these feeling are unjustified and the lies we tell ourselves about peoples' motives are usually untrue. What a crazy conversation! And just what I needed. :)


What I've learned from all of this is this... We are not alone in the realms of our crazy mixed-up minds. We are often actually quite "normal". That is a HUGE comfort to me. Just when I thought I was for sure nuts, I realized that I am broken, yes, but I am also a child of God with a true heart. The truth is, we all have issues. Most of us are far from figuring it out. But isn't it great that I can be broken alongside others? 


Now...you may be asking yourself...what does this have to do with Arbonne? Well, I recently started selling Arbonne as a business. This brought with it a lot of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being "that person" that people avoid because they think of you as a sales person. 


Although I am still a bit fearful of these things, realizing that much of this is stemming from my people-pleasing/socialite conflict helps me remain collected. I know that people will remain friends, not clients. And I know that when I'm not invited to something, my feelings are normal, but that the truth is that I am loved, even when not included. 


I have also realized that, just as I sometimes get overwhelmed with planning an event and not being able to invite everyone, others in my life can't invite everyone either. I have realized that I am often unfair in holding others to a higher expectation than I hold myself to.


I know that I am better than these failing though. And that is why I push on. I know I am loved. I know I will be good at Arbonne. I will battle the self-doubt that plagues us all. And, most days, I will win. :)