Empty Places vs. Open Spaces

When I experience loss, I tend to naturally experience it at the heart level. Rarely is there a loss for me that is surface level. Whether it's something as ordinary as the loss of my favorite baby blanket, or something as deeply painful as the loss of my Grandmother this past August. 

Loss, by definition, is experienced when there is lack. Below is the definition as given by Webster's Dictionary...

1 destruction, ruin

2 a : the act of losing possession : deprivation <loss of sight>
   b : the harm or privation resulting from loss or separation
   c : an instance of losing

When my journey leads me down a road labeled loss, I naturally, and I think understandably, categorize that experience as having left an empty place, either physically of emotionally, or both. Because when there is loss, the has to be lack...right? Well, what I am learning is that lack is often times a matter of perspective. 

I am learning to think more of my life as having many open spaces versus many empty places. I, like most people, have experienced many things in my life that I could label as loss. I have lost my relationship with my parents; I have lost loved ones; I have lost special items; I have lost bids for jobs; I have lost opportunities such as getting into my first choice of schools; I have been dumped; I have been denied; I have  been there, done that; I've even lost money a time or two. I have experienced theft, religious exclusion, and infidelity. BUT...I am the only person who determines what it is that I am to do with these experiences. I am the one who chooses to either let them loom over my existence as empty, dark places in my heart or turn them into inviting, warm open spaces.

Who doesn't love a nice, bight "OPEN" sign on their favorite coffee shop or little boutique? Who doesn't also love walking out of the unpredictable woods and into an open field? Who doesn't love an empty room that boasts of potential as a space for filling with character, memories and inclusiveness? I know I treasure all of these images. And I know that my heart has holes. So my perspective is what dictates how I will experience the impact of my journey...empty or open.

I actually kind of like it that my heart has open places. It means I have room. I have room for more people. I have room for more love. I have room to learn. Room to grow. I am not ruined. I have character.

I once heard someone say that I could never experience success unless I first experienced failure. Without failure, I would have no idea what success looked like. I feel like this is true with loss too. If I hadn't lost, I would have no room to know I had gained. For example, if I hadn't experienced a troubled relationship with my parents, would I know what a blessing my in-laws really are? If I hadn't experienced infidelity, would I know what a treasure a healed marriage really is? If no one I knew ever died, would I value the living as much as I do? If I had never experienced crushing legalism at the hands of religion, would I value the freedom that I now know as truth?

You see, loss is really about how you view "loss". Because to lose is gain. To lose yourself to a greater purpose is to gain perspective. And an empty place holds so much more potential as an open space, begging to be filled by what is good, just and true.